No matter how long I live I will forever marvel at the ease with which one can hop on a jumbo and cross the Atlantic. And despite flying commercial today, the idea of flying is still magical. Just a few glasses of champagne, and one wakes up in a new land ready to do the truly important work.
It is an accepted fact that the Royal Family does nothing by halves, and it was well understood that our new green king was never going to be more constrained than his predecessors; a point that became even more clear after the late Queen allowed her least-favourite son to make his mistress Queen Consort. But in a way, how delicious was it to see at least one person doing exactly as he wished—particularly since his wishes are to save the planet! (And drop the word consort from his wife’s title).
We Wefties all imagined that once king, he would heed the mandate that the sovereign remain neutral in political affairs, but he has opted to wield every ounce of his power to stop climate change— even putting himself at much personal risk! How can we not be grateful?
HM King, officially.
Constantly busy though I am, I'd flown back, of course, for this year’s Ascot. And while a day at Ascot was always going to be dreamy, this year's programme included my first day as King Charles’ official Net-Zero advisor. Going forward I’ll be his eyes and ears on all matters environmental, and his proxy at the World Economic Forum. Quite a coup if I do say so myself. All things considered, there really isn’t a more important position in all of England! Especially considering how much influence the climate agenda commands.
Returning to England for the festivities was no small feat. I’d been in California helping with final edits on the Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing video. The crossing, (a freeway overpass) is a colossal project involving dozens of agencies and projections, plus $92 million and counting. The video, required for further fundraising, was however rather an embarrassment—a blue-eyed cougar seeming to take a selfie with the crossing in the distance. Another with a bird, as though birds needed a crossing? Ditto for the butterfly. It was bad.
I called Daddy for help. After all, he’d built the Keystone Pipeline without needing a promo tape. I texted him a link and through the phone-- peals of laughter. Worse yet was two lines of construction workers, not working, and pretending not to notice the cameras. ‘What is this? Swan Lake?’ Daddy roared on the other end.
‘Please just keep watching’, I implored.
'Oh I am… it says it may… may improve the lots of fence lizards’, he continued barely able to control himself. ‘Jennifer… you really are onto something now!’ I could even hear generally stoic Judith chuckling in the background. This wasn’t going well.
I changed the subject and asked to speak to Mummy. I was hoping to wear her Thierry Mugler suit from Ascot 1986, and would she please send it out for pressing? She pretended not to know which suit I was talking about but gave herself away when she asked about a suitable hat. I think she was hoping for a shopping day but I really wanted to recycle something now that I was coming out as King Charles’ net-zero advisor. Plus there was a chance I’d stump the fashion editors and get some mileage out of it. I hoped anyway. I’m tired of being the eternal ‘bug hostess’.
I joined the king and queen and soon enough we were deep in conversation about the Nobel laureate who threatens to unwind us entirely. With this, King Charles pulled William into the conversation… ‘John Clauser’, I whispered, ‘is the physicist who has signed the World Climate Declaration which insists there is no climate emergency whatsoever, and asserts the IPCC’s forty climate models, are all in violent disagreement’.
We hopped into the carriage to continue our talk, and I brought Prince William up to speed on the importance of consensus. Like him, I’ll have to keep paying my carbon offsets for private flights, but we’ve lost an ally in Africa which will no longer be our ‘climate change testing ground’. I cited a piece by Cameroonian journalist Simon Ateba that called out George Soros and Bill Gates as 'most distrusted', and explained that the ‘poorest countries suffer disproportionately’ yarn is falling on deaf ears—and blind eyes, and eleven dead children thanks to a recent Pfizer drug test.
And with a quick mention of S&P’s abandonment of ESG scores we stepped out of the carriage and met up with the others. The Queen was quick to rejoin Charles’ side. She’s got rather good at stepping in and out of frame but I guess decades of practise will do that. I gave a full second curtsey even though I’m quite sure the earlier one sufficed.
HM Queen, in her own right.
Camilla demanded a quick catch-up of our conversation which surprised me, given the less than twenty seconds at our disposal, and where we were — Ascot for goodness sake! I joked that I’d been shamelessly promoting myself under the guise of what I’d hoped to do in my new position. She didn’t find this in the least satisfying and made it clear that she thought her husband could do the job on his own and she bloody well expected the blow-by-blow. And just like that it was as if I were talking to Carrie (Mrs Boris) Johnson!
But what the Queen wants, I told myself. I spoke as quickly as I was able and then—whew! She smiled. And I smiled. ‘And why do you imagine my husband can’t do this on his own?’
‘OH. Well…certainly he can, Ma'am, but…’
‘But?’
‘Just the little detail of the Commonwealth of England. And it being a democracy. And that the last King Charles who meddled in such matters was tried, convicted, and executed’.
I gave a third curtsey, and then discreetly excused myself.
